Masha never liked my friends. When we were kids she would really give it to me every time I would come to school with bruises from brawling. “Kolya and Vova will get you killed, you know that right?” She’d say it in that way that she knew would get to me, so tender, like a snowball with a rock in it. I usually didn’t pay attention to it, maybe I should’ve.

Kolya and Vova, as I should’ve known, weren’t nice people. They were neighbourhood thugs, thieves-in-law-in-training Masha called them, nothing more than cannon fodder for street fights and rivalries. They were the only friends I had for a while, they’d fight with me against the other aimless youth of the late soviet empire’s capital city. I was pretty good too, if it wasn’t for me brawling pretty well, I wouldn’t have found Judo. If it wasn’t for Judo, I wouldn’t have found Masha. She was the coaches kid, and trouble of a different kind.

She didn’t want me to fight on the street and drink cologne, she didn’t want me dead under a bridge at 21, she wanted me in her life. Kinda cliche, huh, broken man saved by a pious woman? Sorry, her sociology always creeps into my thoughts. As time moved me from my teens into adulthood I stopped being around Kolya and Vova, I started being around Masha more, won a few Judo tournaments. My real break was the Army, I wasn’t clever enough to go to University, I wasn’t like Masha. She went off and wrote to me of Marx and Engels, as I was shipped to Frunze, to do menial army work. I was good too. I could shoot, run, fight, boy could I fight.

All in the past now, I almost miss it.

“You’re the only person we want.” Reality hit me like a train, Vova had sunk his claws into me once again. “It’s just one job, you don’t want a big problem out of this do you?”

I’m an honest man. I’m not like them, I’m not a thug. This is cruelty.

“Look, Chief isn’t happy about this either, he also has issues, he needs help. Think about that, the biggest men of our time need help! From you no less, you’re going to go places.” Vova couldn’t have come up with this nonsense, he’s feeding me what the guy in the layer of hell above him told him. I focused on his tattoo on his knuckle, his own name. VOVA. Christ is he so messed up he can’t remember his own name? Why would I even say that like I’m any better of a person than he is right now.

“I appreciate the opportunity, Vova, but I really do not want to do this.” I said, I knew I had no choice but I had to say no at least once, for the sake of Masha, and Ekaterina. My little family, the first semblence of it in my life at least.

“Max, you don’t have a choice, you know?” Vova said, firmly stopping any hope I gave myself thinking of the distance I thought I had put between myself and the Bratva. “We know you have killer instinct now, don’t we?”

“Do we? I only roughed him up, and your chief hates him anyway.” I said, once again trying to get my head out of a vice that had already clamped it firmly in place.

“You hit a disliked face sure, but a disliked face with some utility.” He wasn’t letting me go, I was now guessing whatever he wanted was going to be a special kind of miserable. “Unfortunately, you’ve got a debt.”

“So what do I pay it?” I was desperate now, I didn’t have much, Masha was the breadwinner working at the University, I just worked taxis, or I did. That seemed in jeopardy now that the manager had a black eye and a couple of teeth missing for holding back pay for 6 months.

“This isn’t the kind of debt you can pay off with money” He said it almost with glee, as though I was a golden goose dropped in his lap, asshole. “Unless you have $10,000.”

I grunted to show my disgust but I was powerless, what else could I do but accept. “I’m guessing Kolya’s outside? Or has he met his fate?”

“Kolya’s out there, he’s gonna walk you through what you’re gonna do.” Vova was even more happy about this, the old gang was back together, that was clearly when they were happiest, putting me down. I walked behind him, his beaming grin lighting the way. The BMW was outside, it was originally white but they had shoddily painted it black, either themselves or with some cheap garage they were racketeering. As I got in I tried to get comfortable on the stained leather, but the smell of cigarettes made that almost impossible.

“Max! I haven’t seen you in years! How are you?” Kolya was still a slimeball. Even though they bounced off each other, Kolya was noticeably more cruel than his partner. “Look you’ve got a simple job to do for us, here hold this for me.” Just as he threw something at me he pushed on the gas as hard as he could, he wanted to make sure I got fingerprints on it, my reflex immediately grabbed the all too familiar Makarov pistol. “Pretty cool, huh? Old KGB thing, retro. I’ve got another present for you, check this out. Vova hand it to him.” Vova handed me a silencer, it wasn’t just a Makarov, it was a silenced one, in the army we used to wish we could test it out, it was reserved for the KGB.

“You’re gonna kill somebody for us, if you do this, not only will this… unpleasantness end, but you’ll make a lot of powerful friends.” Kolya had never promised such heights to me and meant it, I could tell when he was just trying to convince me and when he was telling me the truth. What the hell was this.

We pulled to the side of the road in a residential area. Very quiet, my adrenaline was through the roof the whole time, but the shock up my spine as the car came to a stop will be the worst pain I will ever feel. It wasn’t cold outside but it wasn’t hot, March was never my favourite month, but what a start huh.

“The guy is on the third floor. He’ll be home at 12, no one will be around it’s a family area.” Kolya had changed his demeanor, he wasn’t as giddy as Vova, it seems like reality had seeped in for him, like it had for me back in the bar.

“Oh glad I won’t get noise complaints!” I said, in my panicked state I tried to fight back, but I knew I had already gone past it.

Kolya didn’t appreciate it. “You don’t want them, this isn’t going to be easy. You’ll be killing him, the door code is on the back.” He passed me the photo face down, who lived here? As I took it from him, he slowly moved back, I could see him and Vova looking in the mirror,

trying to see my reaction. Even though I probably flipped it over almost immediately, the time in between it felt like days. I would’ve tried to guess who I was going to take to an early grave, but I was too scrambled at the thought of taking a life to really care about who would die.

I wouldn’t want anyone to have seen it, because it made me sick to my stomach when I did get a good look. “Listyev?” I was quiet, luckily for everyone, “you want me to kill Listyev?”

“Yes, Max.” Kolya said, matching my tone. I don’t know if he actually sympathized with me or if he just wanted me to get over it.

“My daughter watches that show. Field of Wonders.” I wanted to cry or yell but I couldn’t, I was just numb.

“Max, it’s 11:45, go.” Kolya didn’t even look at me. “I’ll wait for you here, just walk quickly back, his building is behind the one in front of you.”

I don’t remember getting out of the car but I remember crossing the courtyard towards the building. It was a panel building that surrounded me, looming over me. Most of the lights had gone out but some were left on, I imagined that even in the ones that were turned off, they were looking down on me, begging me to sacrifice myself for the greater good. I wanted to, but I knew that even if I did, I wouldn’t be the only one to suffer. I thought of Masha, Ekaterina, my little girl. She’d probably gone to bed now. I walked up to the door, I read the door code, and punched it in. I felt weak as I pushed the buttons, but I somehow got it done.

I walked up three flights, each step more difficult than the last, I felt like I had concrete boots on and broken kneecaps. When I finally got up to the third floor, I collapsed on the stairwell like a drunkard, I felt like vomiting, maybe I could just fake it. No, I don’t want excessive evidence around, if they blame it on me I’d already be screwed, no reason to make it easier for them though. I looked at my watch, 11:59. My heart was pounding. Please let me wake up.

A few minutes passed, it was 12:03 now. Maybe he went somewhere else, I said if it got to 12:10, I would leave. They couldn’t be angry at me for that. They said 12:00 sharp. I calmed myself this way, maybe it will be over soon, I can repay their debt some other way. Work for free or whatever. I don’t…

The door opened and closed. The big unmistakable metallic clang sprung me up to be rigid. I stared directly forward and looked down. He was alone. He was walking up. I quickly made my way up the stairs a little bit. I don’t know why, made it look natural? This was all unnatural. His footsteps were tired, and they were loud. They echoed up the concrete stairwell, ringing in my ear like drums, syncopated with my heartbeat. Time was almost frozen as he rounded the last stair, I had already started walking down the stairs. He turned to me, hearing me before as he walked up, wondering which of his neighbors was up so late, probably.

He looked at me with unfamiliarity, but openness, perhaps his unusual lateness had gotten him acquainted with someone new. My hand was disguised behind my back on my right side, gripping the pistol so tight I might’ve worried it would break if I wasn’t thinking about other

things, as he was getting his keys out he turned his chest to me, and as he looked up I beat him to a greeting.

“Hi Vlad, big fan.”