Find What Grounds You

When I arrived, I hated nearly everything except my program, which was the only reason I was here in the first place. Adjusting to my cohort, navigating cultural differences, adjusting to the food and weather, and mourning my old life felt like too much. It was heavy, and it was hard.

What helped me most was finding ways to ground myself. Attending my favorite lecturer’s classes gave me structure, while taking long walks around campus allowed me to clear my head. Breathing exercises were my go-to when stress crept up, and listening to music or singing (yes, sometimes aloud while walking around campus) made me feel like myself again.

Find what grounds you, even if it’s as simple as a comforting snack or a walk to remind yourself that, despite the chaos, you’re here and it’s going to be okay. Grounding yourself doesn’t have to look a certain way—it’s all about finding what makes you feel at home within yourself.

Make Friends When You’re Ready

The idea of making friends when I first arrived felt about as appealing as eating yet another bland sandwich. Starting over felt exhausting and painful.

When I began helping others in my course—whether it was with assignments, adjusting to lectures, or navigating British indirectness (seriously what do they MEAN?)—those small interactions turned into friendships. Sometimes, it’s easier to bond over shared struggles.

Friendship doesn’t need to begin with a big emotional breakthrough. It can start with small gestures, like offering to share notes or even just complaining about the campus Wi-Fi together. Over time, you’ll find your people.

The Best Advice I Received

The best advice I got was to let go of unnecessary pressure, especially the pressure I was putting on myself. Trying to figure everything out all at once doesn’t work—it just leaves you burnt out and frustrated. Instead, focus on the basics: rest, recharge, and remember that it’s okay to be a little lost at first. Pressure isn’t the thing that helps us grow—support and safety are.

Give yourself permission to just be. Start with the basics: rest, recharge, and be kind to yourself. Grinding might help you meet deadlines, but it won’t allow you to fully experience the opportunities around you. Give yourself permission to be human.

What Makes Essex Special

One of the best things about studying at Essex is the international community. My lecturers and classmates come from all over the world, which creates a unique, shared understanding of what it’s like to feel out of place. Being able to laugh with other people about the same cultural quirks—like the weather or the food—and to bond over shared frustrations with communication made being here so much easier.

Essex also gave me the chance to fall in love with learning again. The university bubble is a space to rediscover yourself, figure out how you learn best, and immerse yourself in ideas. It’s a gift, and I hope everyone gets to experience that joy. Honestly, where else can you have a deep philosophical debate one minute and then argue over the proper way to make a cup of tea the next?

The Hardest Part: Isolation

Feeling isolated was the hardest part of my transition. I often felt like I was the only one struggling as much as I was, and I constantly compared myself to others, thinking I should be adjusting faster or doing better.

But the truth is, everyone else is figuring it out too—they’re just good at hiding it. Once I started reaching out to others, I realized I wasn’t alone. The more I connected with others, the lighter things felt. So, if you’re feeling isolated, remember to reach out even in small ways. People are more similar to you than you might think.

What Took the Longest to Learn

For me, the hardest but best thing to adapt to were conversations. I come from a culture where the question “How are you?” isn’t taken literally and before moving here, I lived in a place where small talk was almost nonexistent. In England, though, anything can be a topic of conversation. The weather? Always relevant. The long queue at the coffee shop? Prime bonding material. At first, I was confused—why is everyone so chatty? But over time, I learned to embrace the randomness of it. Conversations here aren’t just about politeness; they’re about connection. And yes, they really do care if you say you’re “not doing great.” It took time, but I’m learning to embrace this openness. Conversations became less about formality or getting work done and more about connection, which is what I needed all along.

Final Thoughts

Arriving late to university as an international student is no small challenge. It’s messy, emotional, and filled with moments where you think, “Why in the world am I here?” But it’s also an opportunity to grow in ways you never imagined.

So, give yourself grace. Let the chaos of it all unfold without judgment. Find your anchors, embrace the quirks of your new environment, and connect with the people around you. And remember: You’re not alone. There’s a whole community of students who are figuring it out, one tea break at a time.

And who knows? One day, you might just find yourself laughing in the rain, singing a little too loudly as you walk across campus, and realizing this weird, cold little place has started to feel like home.